Because
by FearandLoathingXIX
Summary: Because Ruka is impossible when he is drunk, because he is entrancing and all consuming and never stops saying I love you. Because if he stopped saying it Natsume would undoubtedly throw a fit. Because he cannot resist much more. WARNING. STRONG YAOI SEX


Avoiding work. Find old RukaNatsume Fanfiction plan. End up writing RukaNatsume fanfiction. Enjoy :D

... Hm. I thought this would go further but it doesn't seem to want to. Guess I'm feeling classy and not so smutty today.

EDIT: I TAKE THAT BACK LOTS OF FILTHY SMUT BOYS AND BOYS AND GIRLS =D

WARNING. IF YOU HAVE A PROBLEM WITH REALISTIC AND GRAPIC SEX IN FICTION, OR A PROBLEM WITH GRAPHIC GAY SEXUAL ACTS IN FICTION, THEN DO NOT READ THIS STORY. IT IS VERY ADULT AT THE END AND IF YOU STILL READ THIS AND THEN LEAVE A REVIEW SAYING 'EWWW THAT WAS GROSS!' THEN I'M GOING TO CALL YOU A FUCKING IDIOT WHO CAN'T TAKE INSTRUCTIONS. IF YOU ARE SQUICKED OUT BY LEMONS OR YAOI TURN BACK NOW, OR LEAVE WHEN YOU SEE THE XXX SIGN.

END OF WARNING. ENJOY YOUR SMUT. X.

EDIT EDIT: WELL, I decided pretty much out of the blue that while I like this fic, it has certain imperfections that annoy me no end. The ending for one drives me NUTS, so I've decided to go through and polish it up a bit until I'm happy with it. It'll still be just as porny though =D

* * *

Ruka Nogi is _drunk, _and this is a problem.

Because Ruka is not just anyone's problem drunk, he is _Natsume's _problem drunk.

Because that is apparently what best friends are for.

Apparently, it also involves being clung to by a drunk French boy, _ardently _professing his love for him, which is not one of Natsume's favorite positions to be in.

Because it is even _more _undesirable, in the more mature years of their teens, for Natsume to be overheard having romantic and sexual favours proposed to him by said boy.

Because Ruka _does_, and it is very embarrassing. Especially when he starts using the French words for things and Natsume can only try to guess what he's saying and how explicit it might be.

This isn't to say that Ruka hasn't solicited sexual favours off _most _people when he's drunk - he's always been a bit of a loose canon like that - but it is only Natsume he does it to _persistantly_, as well as exercising a habit of following him to bed, and then bursting into alternating fits of tears and horny about how much he loves him.

_Always. _Even when they were younger, although minus the arousal.

Because it's some trait of his blood that makes him so very _impassioned _about these kinds of things.

So Natsume knows, as he sullenly brings Ruka back to the dorms, that this time is going to be no differen from the rest.

Or he _thinks _he knows, at least.

"Naa-tsu-me, I _ love _you," Ruka drawls, his face already flushed and hot from the deceptively fruity cocktails that Sumire gleefully plied him with earlier in the night; Natsume, of course, was kept deliberately unaware of the alcoholic content, because their friends think it's _funny _to get Ruka drunk and watch Natsume carry him home. The meddling bastards.

"Yes," Natsume groans woefully, gripping his arm tight so that he doesn't wander off and make this journey any longer than it has to be. "I know."

"I...(hic)... can walk by myself," professes Ruka, and starts twisting and writhing until Natsume relents and lets go of him. He walks onwards in gently sloping lines, crossing slowly from side to side of the pathway, staring at his feet as if he can't understand what is wrong with them.

Natsume rubs his face and swears he_ won't _do this again, that next time Ruka gets like this he will _leave _him to his own devices and let him learn the hard way. Even if he knows it's not true - that he will _always _look after him - it makes him feel a bit better.

"Natsumeee!" Ruka cheers suddenly, having turned around and noticed his company; before Natsume can react, he is set upon, and is clung to tightly by his friend with all the glee of someone reuniting after a long period of separation. If only it had been less than five minutes since Ruka last said 'I love you'.

"I love you, Natsu-," Ruka mumbles predictably, his face half pressed against Natsume's neck; one of his hands rises sharply from the top of Natsume's shoulder blade and runs through his hair, twisting his fingers in the dark mess and pulling Natsume tightly against him.

"Ruka..." Natsume warns, knowing what will come next.

It does not come in words, but instead in a breathy gasp, and a more urgent pressure against Natsume's front; Ruka pulls him harder, as if he could drag Natsume _inside _his own body if he just tries enough.

"_Ruka_," Natsume commands, his own body stiff and resistant. The response to this is a slow whine, and an insistent rubbing of fingertips across his collarbone with Ruka's other hand.

"What?" he asks innocently, hiding behind a pretence of not realizing what he was - quite deliberately - trying to do.

"Back off," Natsume replies curtly. "You _know _what you're like."

He moans now, high-pitched and almost pathetic.

"But _Natsumee_..." Ruka says, his breath hot and his hold strong - he is still slightly smaller than Natsume, but in no way is he weak. His work with animals ensures _that _will never be a possibility; not when you wrestle giant birds for fun, _or _put in twice the farmhand hours of any other student or worker on campus.

Natsume will have to use all of his own strength if he really wants to get Ruka off him. _If._

Because it'd be a lie if he said he hadn't been tempted before. At least he's never _done _anything, so far. Well... not past a couple of confused kisses on some odd occasions. Ruka is beautiful to him - not handsome, _beautiful_, and Natsume would be an even bigger liar if he said he didn't love him, even if not in the conventional way.

Because Ruka is a _huge _part of his life - so are the others - but Ruka was there first. Ruka has _always _been there for him, so there's never been someone with whom he feels more belonging. Ruka is just _his_.

Mikan is everyone's, Mikan was _made _to be shared, which he can just about tolerate, because it's the only thing he _can _do. However, Ruka is _his _best friend, and _his _other half, and he knows that if he stopped doing this, he'd probably kick up a huge uproar about it.

Because Ruka is fundamentally _his_, and Natsume has grown so used to his being committed heart and soul, it feels like it'd destroy him to lose it.

Mikan may have been able to bring him _out _of the darkness, but Ruka stopped him falling down to the bottom long before she showed up; if not for Ruka, there'd probably be nothing for Mikan to save in the first place.

- But goddamit he _doesn't _want to have sex with him. He's _not _gay, he tells himself. It's just a close friendship. _Very _close.

Because Ruka is _very _good at making him think otherwise; at teasing and touching and outright _flirting _with him; so that he's broken before - he's kissed him, thinking that it will stop Ruka playing about, or let off enough pressure to stop his heart pounding so hard it makes him dizzy, or any other of a number of excuses for the simple truth that he _wanted _to.

"I'm not _like _anything, Natsume," Ruka says softly, and Natsume feels that terrifying bolt from his chest down to his stomach; he pushes him away and then starts walking onwards briskly, Ruka staggers along behind him, caught by their linked arms. They couldn't separate if they tried, really.

"You are," Natsume snaps, infuriated that Ruka does this to him again and again. "Don't _act _like you don't know what you're doing." Ruka catches up to him, twisting his arm to sit more comfortably through Natsume's, leaning in so that he has just enough support to keep walking in a straight line.

"Oh Natsume," he laughs, his breath clouding in the cold evening air. "But I _love _you. Je _T'aime_."

Natsume shoots him a sidelong glance, narrow-eyed and just a little sultry. Ruka is being especially persistant tonight; he's using French.

"Why do you always _do _this?" he questions frostily, ignoring Ruka's head sinking to rest on his shoulder as they walk. "You've not even had that much."

"The drink has nothing to do with it," Ruka responds with a smile, turning his head back upon Natsume's shoulder to look up at him, making eyes and looking like far too much of a temptation. Natsume snorts in contempt - _that _is a flagrant lie.

"It makes you horny," he spits distastefully. Ruka is quiet for a few moments, considering the venom of his tone, and then sighs once or twice.

"_You _make me," he replies eventually, and some feeling deep within Natsume twists uncomfortably. Don't say that, he begs inwardly.

"Hn," Natsume grunts, realizing that Ruka's no more convinced by his shoddy false anger than he is. Instead he tries to speed up their pace so they can get back to dorms quicker - so he can get Ruka _away _from him.

"Come on, Natsume," Ruka pleads, his footsteps dragging sluggishly, pulling them to a petulant stop. With a jerk he pulls Natsume to face him, and brings up his free hand to hold his friend by the jaw; his hands are soft in some places, but tough and spotted with calouses and scars from his work in others. He just is so _real_, and so solid against him.

"Don't you _want _me?" he breathes, heavy lidded and impossibly seductive. Natsume knows then it's going to be one of those nights he can't hold out, so gives up now, thinking that if he can get it out of the way, release just a little bit of the pressure, then maybe he can get Ruka back without anything else happening.

In a flash, he grabs Ruka by the chin and pulls his mouth into contact with his own - sharp and fierce, he kisses him, and then just as quickly he stops.

"...You know I do," he murmurs reluctantly, his mouth burning with the sin of his actions, but watering with the taste of him.

Because he's closer to losing it all than he's _ever _been, and to hell if he hasn't tried to resist until he's blue in the face before. He's _losing _it and it is Ruka's damn fault. He doubts anyone else could have held out longer.

Because Ruka can ecllipse everything else, just like that, and because they are walking again, and almost back now, stalling awkwardly outside the door when they arrive. Inside that door, Natsume's room is in one direction, and his in another.

"Well _come onn_," Ruka cajoles, invading again with an exaggerated hug, only this time closing his lips over the corner of Natsume's ear playfully. When Natsume freezes stiffer than a lamp post, Ruka bites softly, and then what's left of Natsume's will to resist is gone in a shudder of almost-painful pleasure.

"Fine!" he snarls, peeling Ruka off and forcing him back against the door. "All right, Ruka! - I _give up__!"_ he yells furiously, and without another word Ruka is upon him, hands in Natsume's hair and tugging him into a hard-won kiss.

Hot and aggressive, they have to fight to get past the other's lips, and Natsume fears this time he might not be able to stop, because he sure as hell knows Ruka isn't going to.

Because the intensity becomes too much to bear in this cold, clothed, outside backdrop, so Ruka soon pulls away with wet lips and grabs Natsume tightly by the hand. No more words are required because it's been obvious what he's after for _months_, and Natsume no longer has the power to stop Ruka getting, or more accurately, _taking, _whatever he wants.

_(xxx - end here for T-only version)_

* * *

They are in Ruka's room now; smaller than Natsume's and more confining, but _closer _- it also makes everything feel that much more shut in, as tripping and stumbling towards the bed, Natsume pulls off his and Ruka's coats and Ruka's hands dive underneath Natsume's shirt and ambitiously cling to his bare skin, allowing almost no space to come between them.

Because passion and fury have _consumed _them, and there is nothing left of Natsume; he can only take all that is given to him and hunger still for more, sucking up affection like a person dying of thirst.

Ruka sits him down on the bed and then pulls his shirt from him in a businesslike manner, teasing his pants undone and unhesitantly reaching into his boxers to squeeze and rub off his already hardening cock; Natsume is struck passive - he cannot respond and cannot dominate, not while Ruka has pinned him so well, reduces him to pants and groans.

Ruka's enthusiam overwhelms him; he's obviously been wanting this for a good while, and knows _exactly _what he wants to do, because he does not spare any time in getting onto his knees and taking Natsume into his mouth. Boy, he must have spent a _lot _of time thinking about it because what he does is mind-blowing - Natsume never realized something could feel _this _good.

Ruka takes an especially deep stroke on Natsume's cock, and he feels his head reaching the back of Ruka's throat; his eyes roll up inside his head and he moans loudly, reaching up a hand to fist in Ruka's fair hair desperately.

Natsume starts to tremble and feels a cold sweat across the back of his shoulers - forcing himself to remember to be gentle, as he guides Ruka's rhythm with his hand on the back of his head, thrusting every so often deeper into his mouth with uncontrollable, guttural sounds.

He shudders and his fingers tighten again in Ruka's hair as he gets closer and closer to coming. He cannot believe how fast it has all happened - that he's really sitting here, being sucked off by Ruka, and _paralytic _with the pleasure.

But he is, and it is _amazing, _and he drops his shoulders and groans hard as the ripples of orgasm begin to sweep up his body; shaking him all over until he comes helplessly, choking on his own breath and ejacualting hot and heavy into Ruka's mouth, where with one surprised gag and then a gulp his semen is gone.

Ruka looks up and simply wipes his mouth with a knuckle, a glazed, trance-like look in his eyes as he climbs up onto the bed; advancing over Natsume and placing one leg on either side of him. Pressing his body against Natsume's, he pushes his own swollen leaking erection against him and cries out softly.

"Touch me," he begs, burying his face in the curve of Natsume's neck and grinding against him again. "_Please, Natsume_."

Natsume feels Ruka through the strained, uncomfortable restriction of his pants and cups him hard; Ruka grabs hold of Natsume by the shoulders and almost falls against him. He has to be turned and laid down on the bed before he keels over completely, under the overpowering effect of his own arousal.

Instead of just lowering his pants and underwear as Ruka did with him Natsume removes them, rendering him completely naked and at his mercy - Ruka pulled quite a feat on him so he was at least going to _attempt _to return the favour, even if he did feel like he'd just been pulled through some kind of orgasmic blender. He grips Ruka's cock in his hand and immeaditely a clear drop of precum leaks out of the tip and rolls down his head; curious, Natsume dips his face down and sweeps it up with his tongue - salty and a little musky, but not actually unpleasant.

He makes a few strokes of Ruka's cock with his mouth experimentally, but once made wet and lubricated with his own saliva, he finds more pleasure in only jerking him off with his hands, as then he can sit up and watch his partner's _facinating _expressions.

He is only absent mindedly rubbing and tugging on Ruka's balls when his hand goes a little further down than he intended and presses between the clenched curves of his ass, but Ruka makes such a dramatic gasps and weak, _animal _sound that it is not long before Natsume sucks his middle finger in his mouth, and then reaches behind to press it against Ruka's tightly clenched asshole. He goes rather adorably red in the face, but soon seems so turned on and desperate for Natsume to penetrate him, even panting encouragements, that Natsume rather wonders if he hasn't done this to himself before.

Spreading Ruka's legs slightly, Natsume starts to push his finger past the tight sensation-packed ring of muscle and reach into Ruka's ass up to his knuckle - instantly he feels Ruka's cock pulsing harder in his hand and the boy twisting his hips to feel more. Pulling almost until he is out and then pushing back in, another streak of precum runs down Ruka's shaft and feeds into the frantic jerking of Natsume's hand. Timing so that each stroke of Ruka's erection is teamed with a thrust of Natsume's finger, he grabs a corner of his bedsheets and covers his mouth with them, screaming silently as Natsume completes him.

Ruka can barely remember where he _is_, let alone form the coherance of language to warn Natsume when he's about to come, doing so harder than he's ever come before; he shoots a long jet of semen up across his own body, wrenching as he feels it stinging hot against his own skin. His breaths rasp in his chest, as Natsume tentatively pulls his hands away and wipes his dirtied hands on his own boxers. When Ruka finally opens his eyes, he sees Natsume staring at the mess he's made of himself with a mildly concerned espression, as if to say 'what are you going to do about _that_?'

Sluggishly, he fumbles for his own boxer shorts and wipes himself down, throwing the soiled garment to the floor, then crawling under the covers of his bed as he pulls Natsume into a sleepy kiss and curls up against his side.

Natsume is kissing Ruka back before his mind even catches up to the act of being kissed in the first place. Then, as if Ruka, quite completely naked, and as affectionate as ever, pulling him into bed with him wasn't enough of a temptation, he is hit with a heavy wave of exhaustion, and feels too damn good to even_ consider _trying to leave or figure out what just happened.

Because he doesn't care one bit right now, so cradles Ruka's head in his hands and kisses him lazily, before settling down at his side and drifting into a warm and comforting sleep.

Because if there's love, everything else can wait.

* * *

Because I wanted to write _proper _gay sex, not just pretty boy-love. It's graphic and messy and involves sticking your fingers up someone else's ass.

Hope y'all liked it and could handle the graphic descriptions and acts, the yaoi comm in this fandom is basically ALL good writers and we need to back each other up and keep this community going! Only I am contributing all the hardcore gritty stuff. Oh yeah!

EDIT: I am soooo much a million times more pleased with the ending now. God I'm such a sappy bitch. =D

Review please! Xxx


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